How to Emotionally Deal with the Stress and Pressure of the Job Hunt
Happy spooky season, y’all! If you’re going through the job hunt right now, it may be spooky season for more reasons than one. And we have all heard it: “The job hunt sucks.” So what do you do if you’re in it? Well, with the trauma, life circumstances, and triggers that come up, you may deal with a whole host of emotions. So, we have decided to compile a little list of survival tips and tricks from other women who’ve been going through it, so you know you’re not alone.
Own your story.
Regardless of why you are starting your job hunt, do what you need to make peace with your past. Grieve your old role, forgive yourself for your mistakes, forgive others, and take the steps you need to move forward. Without making peace and owning your narrative, you won’t truly be able to move forward in your job search. Call a friend, therapist, whoever and however you need to process and give yourself time. Sometimes, if you’re burnt out, you’ll also need to rest. Take what you need before diving into the next stage.
Create a game plan.
Wherever you are in your job search, take a moment to pause and assess your situation. How are you? How are your finances? How are you feeling emotionally? Check in with yourself and break down your needs into clear goals. How much time can you dedicate to your search? If finances are a consideration, could you take on a role adjacent to your field to stay afloat? Or, if you are looking for emotional fulfilment, could you explore a potential new field, personal projects, courses, hobbies, volunteer work, or skill-building workshops so that you can nourish yourself? Maybe it is a combination of both buckets. In the end, with your plan, you are holding yourself accountable to achieve what you want whilst being realistically feasible.
Stick to your guns.
Maintain a clear understanding of what you want and what you are looking for in your next role. Get specific on non-negotiables, how you want to feel in the workplace, type of role, salary, culture, etc. Get down to the nitty-gritty and try to write down a list of goals and desires you have moving forward. Understand your non-negotiables and try to stick to them throughout your search. Know what you are and are not willing to compromise on. It can be tempting to apply for and go after roles just to find a role, but see if you can stick to what you set out to find. You are giving yourself the chance to align with a role that meets your needs. Try to honour yourself with the flexibility of an open mind, where you are willing to give some wiggle room.
You are more than your experience.
As you go through the job search, you will likely encounter a lot of heavy emotions, rejections, and roadblocks. Remember, you are more than what you are experiencing. I find it helpful to tell myself, “I am feeling sad, but I am not sadness itself. I am just experiencing sadness right now.” Or “I am experiencing difficulty with the job search,” rather than creating a narrative on why you can’t find a role rooted in blame or punishment. Your self-talk is important, and see where you can give yourself grace when experiencing hardship. You are creating a fulfilling life for yourself; a job is just one of those aspects, it is not your life.
Rejection as redirection.
This one stings; rejection is only taking you where you need to go, and that can be a very hard pill to swallow. It sucks, it hurts, and sometimes we want to throw something across the room, but it can be seen as protection or making room for something better. We may not always see it or understand it until much later. Be gentle, give yourself grace, talk it out with a loved one and try to feel it all before moving forward. There will be more opportunities.
Keep living.
Do not get sucked into the rabbit hole of just applying for roles. Create a schedule for yourself, go out with friends, journal, delve into personal projects, and enjoy taking care of yourself. Give yourself a life outside of your job hunt; you deserve it, regardless of how your search is going. Having a gratitude list is also a great way to keep track of things that make you happy.
It’s not always you.
So take this one with a tiny grain of salt for your situation, but yes, sometimes it is not always you. When it comes to rejection, sometimes you are up against 400 folks in the running. It is okay if it doesn’t work out. Now, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put in the elbow grease to up your skills or boost your CV, but know that sometimes it is not always personal.
Find a buddy.
Network! Find other people in your shoes to vent, rant, support, and motivate. Build on and lean on your network when you need. Of course, loved ones not on the job hunt are great resources too, but meeting someone who gets it can make a big difference.
Survival.
Your survival mode is probably showing. It is a delicate balance adopting an abundant mindset when a key pillar of your sense of safety becomes an unknown variable. Take note of how you feel, reflect, and be mindful of when your survival mode is taking over. Are you sitting on LinkedIn for hours on end? Are you applying for roles you do not want? Are you scared of spending your money? Are you punishing yourself by neglecting your own needs? Whatever it is, this is a sticky one to work through. Lean in, what is the scarcity really trying to tell you? Work with a professional and try to make small reframes for your situation. Maybe you can go for a walk and apply for jobs for an hour or so, whatever it is, having a plan and tracking small wins can make massive strides in this area. It doesn’t have to be all or none; achieving a balance is a journey that can change daily. And this journey can be really tough and scary, be gentle with yourself.
Celebrate small wins.
Whatever you do, write down your wins! Whether it is big or small, be it with the job hunt itself or just in your life, write it down. You woke up and made a great latte, or you scored a coffee chat with someone from your dream company. You are achieving more than you know, and just because you don’t have a job does not mean you are not winning or achieving.
This too shall pass.
Nothing stays the same forever, no matter how it feels. This is a season of your life, but you will have more seasons. Enjoy it and embrace it for what it is, find the silver linings where you can, and move through the realities of the hardships. This could be the last day of your job search.
Your job is not your identity.
It's easy to feel this way. When someone asks what you do, and you don't have a job, you might get a pit in your stomach. "Oh, well, you know, I used to do this, but now I don't have a job," you know how that story goes. But you are not your job, and in fact, you can still be whatever you do for work without having a job. If you get that pit in your stomach, talk to it and reassure yourself. "I work as an xyz, and I am looking for my next opportunity." We attach so much of who we are to what we do, but we are more than what we produce, and more than our careers. It is part of us; it can contribute to our identities, but really, our identity is what contributes to our jobs.
What you learn now will carry with you.
Just because you do not have a job does not mean there are not skills, experiences, people and lessons that you can apply and carry with you far beyond your next role. Learning to set boundaries, working on your survival mode, and creating a schedule with a free day are just a few ways to tap into the many blessings in front of you. This time will give lifelong understandings that add depth to your story.
And if you’re thinking of making the career shift to something new, here is a great worksheet to use before leaving your current role.
